Unreachable Colleagues (Look Up from Your Screen)
I’m 22 and currently work two days a week at what you’d call a real job. I’ve been there for a little while now, and besides that, I spend most of my time writing stories like this one, creating videos about phone use, and exploring how we can all regain control over our own minds.
Since I started spending less time on my phone, going from nearly eight hours a day to around one and a half, I’ve begun to see the world and the people around me much more clearly. I notice things I never used to, and while that’s been incredibly educational, it also raises a lot of questions for me. Why do people act or think the way they do? And do they even realize it themselves?
In my opinion, people are slowly losing awareness of the world around them. They’re not really present anymore. Maybe that sounds hypocritical coming from me because less than a year ago I was exactly the same. But I want to talk about how difficult it has become to start a simple conversation with new people, even when I genuinely want to.
Here’s a small example from my own life. At my job, I work with several people, each with their own character and habits. You notice it during work, of course. But the moment we go on break, everyone pulls out their phone. I’m usually the only one sitting there, drinking my coffee, eating, and just trying to unwind, which to me is the whole point of a break: to rest, to breathe, and maybe have a bit of casual conversation.
But with everyone scrolling, I often don’t know how to position myself. How do you start a conversation with people who are mentally somewhere else? I haven’t been at this job for very long yet, and I’d love to get to know my colleagues, to hear their stories, their thoughts on life, and maybe even learn something from them. Since cutting down my phone use, my curiosity about people has grown massively. I’m fascinated by how others think and live. And it doesn’t even have to be someone I like. I think everyone deserves to be heard, even if I don’t agree with them.
So why do so many people, during moments meant for rest, still reach for their phones? A phone keeps your brain active; it doesn’t allow you to relax. That constant stimulation keeps your mind switched on, and humans aren’t built for that. It’s no wonder so many people today feel stressed or burned out. We’re expected to always be available, to reply quickly, and to consume information without pause. We’ve become collectively afraid of boredom.
Using your phone fills every empty moment and makes time pass faster. But here’s the irony: the very thing that’s supposed to relax you is actually increasing your stress. Social media releases large amounts of dopamine in your brain, a chemical that makes you feel good but is also highly addictive.
When you really take a step back, the downsides of this constant screen use far outweigh the benefits. It’s even shocking to observe once you stop doing it yourself. Imagine sitting in a cafeteria or a restaurant surrounded by people, all staring down at their screens. Every now and then, someone laughs or says, “You have to see this,” and for a brief moment everyone looks up, not at each other, but at the same tiny screen. A few seconds later, they go silent again. You’re in a room full of people, yet everyone feels isolated.
And that’s what’s truly sad. Real human connection is essential for our brains and our growth, no matter your age. We’re social creatures, and genuine connection can’t be built through a screen.
Think about it this way: it’s now almost unimaginable to smoke inside a restaurant. Maybe in ten years, we’ll say the same thing about phone use in social spaces: “How strange that everyone used to stare at their phones all the time.”
I’m not saying we should ban phones, but we do need to become more aware of how we use them. I hope we can still take a different turn as a society, one that brings us closer to each other again, not further apart.
Boaz, Founder of FocusBubble
Download FocusBubble on the App Store and start reducing your screen time today:
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/focusbubble-app-blocker/id6742646493
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